Our friend Leroy is sometimes too nice for his own good and it plays against him. His efforts at being helpful sometimes bring on disaster. However, his last near-miss brought one thing to light, he has a possible future in the circus.
He was asked to come help vaccinate some calves in the chutes at a friend's house. He agreed of course because he apparently does not have the word ŒNO' in his vocabulary and because he is always helpful. When he got to their place he noticed that the chutes were in pretty bad disrepair. It was doubtful if the rotted wooden sides would be able to hold a cantankerous bovine, but that was not really the problem. Trouble was the alley-way inside the chute. Time erodes all things and the soil had sunken down about two and a half feet. This made it practically impossible to lean over the chute rails far enough to be able to vaccinate a calf.
But never fear! Having had this same problem before, the owner had thought ahead. He too was trying to be helpful. Now, dear reader, you must use your imagination and Œsee' what I am about to tell you. The Œfix' consisted of two 55 gallon barrels laid over on their sides with a wooden platform laid across it. That is all; just the barrels and the wood; nothing tied together, nothing stabilized with shims. This made for a precarious perch, but again, Leroy is too nice for his own good, was filled with the desire to be helpful and he figured he would just make a short job of it.
Climbing aboard and carefully balancing himself in the center he began the process of vaccinating. Like a surfer on a wave he wiggled and jiggled to keep his balance as he worked the calves. One particularly rambunctious calf caused him to nearly fall head-first over the rails and into the chute. With all of the power of a ballerina he twisted, turned on point, spun and landed upright back in the middle of his wood and barrel perch. It caused those about him to start a pool as to when he would fall off (we figured we'd use our winnings to help pay his medical billsŠjust trying to be helpful) but he fooled us all! Hours later he was still aboard his make-shift balancing beam.
As he finished the job he turned to face the crowd and as he did so the barrels shifted one more time. Without hesitation he leapt into the air and as the barrels and platform rolled out from under him. Suspended momentarily in mid-air we gasped in horror as he smiled in our direction and landed on his feet like a gymnast at the Olympics making a perfect ten. Such style!
Such grace! We forgot all about the pool and cheered! He is not a young man and yet he moved like a gazelle. He was our hero. We agreed that none of us could have kept our balance. We concede that he is indeed a champion of the rock-n-roll method of vaccinating and we are all in awe of his athletic skills. It was also agreed that he could indeed have a real future as a center ring act. But then again, talent like his should not be wasted in a mere circus.
Since this incident he has been offered a job as the new basketball coach of a local country school. I wonder if we let them know of his balancing act if the school board would let go of enough money to start a gymnastics team and make him coach of that too?
Just trying to helpful there Leroy, just trying to be helpful!
©Debra Coppinger Hill, ridingdrag@gmail.com
